Unknown

Hey guys! So I didn't blog last week which on the contrary I actually spent the whole week blogging on tumblr for my media coursework, but it's done now so I'm back! Where do I start? Well this weeks been kinda interesting so to speak. I could a volunteering job teaching young people poetry for 5weeks and so I'm proud in that respect, but the problem is I wouldn't really know the first thing about teaching poetry as it comes from the heart for me, but I live a sort of wing it life so I'm sure I'll find a way to do it...

What will I amount to? It worries me everyone seems to have an idea of what they wanna do and even if you don't you could be the clueless thing on earth, but you won't be as clueless as me. I enjoy so many things music, performing, poetry, sport, helping others..being that support system that not many people get a chance to have. I guess you could say that the one thing they all have in common is performing am I made to perform I dunno am I meant to change the face of the earth I dunno I just dunno what I'm meant to amount to. All those things set me free it's in those moments I can be free and know everything will be okay sure things will be a struggle but it makes the journey lighter, easier in some way. I'm not alone in this I'm sure, but I don't think I can hold it down anymore, living in this so called black hole ain't me, but I don't wanna amount to that one time thing. That thing that's like she's the sister of so and so. the wife of (place name here) I want to amount to so much more than that! I know I can, I will it's a must, but amounting to what is a mystery?

I've not worked hard enough I don't believe I have, I dream about what could be, what should be then I remember that logically that ain't possible. Let me rephrase, what I imagine is possible then the reality of it is something different. I was made for the stage, I've secretly always known that, countless medals sprinting, poetry even just helping people I was made to be listened to for people to see and relate to, but then why does nothing in life reach a level of satisfaction. Why still do I hide away even though when I do these things I somehow touch people's hearts or at least gain some reaction (not bragging) so I guess I've found my market, but not the specification, but such is life gotta keep moving, maybe one day my life won't be such a movie and I'll know what i'm doing....

The Highs and Lows

So the title says it all. This week (even though it's only Wednesday) has been a bit of a crazy period filled with tears and the occasional moments of laughter, but I'll just let the poem do the talking. Just felt like doing a little intro for you guys 

Can anybody hear me?
Am I going insane
It seems like the one time I try and be happy the devil steps in the way
You say don't let the devil get in the way
But it's easier said than done
I cry myself to sleep most nights
Not necessarily because I pray for something different
Sometimes just to let everything out
You claim you understand, but really all you can do is try
Your not in my position so I don't expect you to understand
Things will get better they say
So why am I pulling my hair
Frustrated, Annoyed
I understand not to blame myself
I can't don't you understand
I never blame myself
It's a fact of life I gotta continue
I can't really say much
Without coming across ungrateful
Rushin to you for support
And you turn me away
Sayin everythin will be okay
Don't feed me what I want to hear
What I already know
Sometimes just shut the fuck up and listen
Don't say anything, give me advice, give me harsh reality
Sometimes all I want is your ears

Open your ears close your mouth
Close your eyes imagine me saying this to you
All you're feeding me is bullshit
God dey for sky
I'm here for you
Stop pitying yourself
Making yourself feel bad
How does it sound to you
Annoying?
Many do it without realising

Do the opposite sometimes
Although I may get angry
Ignore what I'm saying
Make an irrelevant point
Inappropriate comment
Anything
Something
Just to make it stop
Make it stop
Take it away

I wanna feel you
Touch you
Caress you
But you're nowhere near
You have so much power you don't even realise it
Or utilize it.
You make me happy and can still drive me insane
Dig the biggest hole in my heart
Stab me so softly
Make me feel all type a ways

The day will come
One day I hope
When all the above comes true and I get to feel you
Till then messages will do
Silent tears will continue
Forced laughter
Genuine cackles
Hope for major
Minor Success
Maybe get published

Such is life
I don't like to say it
But it is what it is
Things won't get better
There  is no light at the end of the tunnel
The devil does want me
I'm a dysfunctional angel
Without hope
Without direction
But I thank him for my ability of expression

I can't say I wanna fight no more
Honestly I don't
Take the battle for me
I'm tired

They bring some weird light
I become so comfortable
I can see the light
I'm drawing towards
It
My eyes are closin
Breathing slowing
Yet I don't feel I'm dying  
Inhale...Exhale

Baby Wait
Hold on
But I'm tired of holding
You can't leave me
Tears flow wetting, pealing my pale face
Open your eyes woman
Screaming, shouting, Wailing
But I need to go
No you stay
He cradles you
It's not your time baby
Go back
They need you
But-
Don't question me
They. Need. You
They won't say it out loud
But they do
He needs you
Just as much as you need him

Don't turn back now
Put that blade down
Let the rope go
Sometimes say yes instead of no
Don't question life
Needless to say it has unanswered questions
Do your bit
think of it like a skit
It's really, really short
Shorter than you imagine
So smile and conquer the world
Things might not get better

But believe me
Put a bullet to your head
Slicing yourself
Popping pills
Running away
Hanging yourself
Some form of life destruction
I've more than likely felt it
Or even wanted to do it

Harming another?
Common thing for me
To punch, kick or slap them
Scream? Bitch? Strangle?
I felt that way too

But there are people or things you love isn't there?
You say no, but there is!
Your mum, best friend, wife, girlfriend
Toy, Diary, music artist even down to a scene in a film
That is the thing that needs you!
Wants to satisfy you
Make you feel better
So stay put
It's crying out for you
Hold on to it
To me
This Post
Something
I'm not preaching to you
Some of you will think
Fuck it she doesn't get it I still wanna go
Go. If it's your time then what can I say
But to someone else on the brink
Not quite there
I hope this helps you

Think of that buzz you get
Something that makes you smile
because that's what makes it all worth while
And when you spread your word
Like I am to you
You can shout me out
And say that girl's poem
Blessing's poem Pointed me in the right direction

I'd rather you didn't do that though
The moment will be about you not me
I take zero credit your all that matters
Keep your head up
Your shine will come
Regardless
So smile
It's all a matter of time
Before it becomes worth while

SEKEM

Open your legs, one hand on your waist, one hand your chest oya SEKEM! 

As we speak now now I'm doing Sekem! MC Galaxy has created a sure hit titled Sekem. Due to up and coming producer TSpize's mad skills this is sure to be a hit!

There's also a chance to win $3,000 by uploading your Sekem videos to Youtube 

So have fun with it! 

Oya Sekem! 

We Made It!

18 posts, 11 weeks, 77 days, 1848 hours, 110,880 minutes and 6,652,800  seconds..We made it! 

Yep we finally reached 500 views!

Okay your probably sitting there thinking it's only 500 views and you have every right to think that, but to me it's a big achievement! I have another blog - Anything&Everything  and it's got 900+ views and when it reached 500 I never made a big deal of it. However the difference with this blog is I actually put my heart and soul into to this blog and have a genuine passion to keep on blogging on here. Also I kinda made the target to get 500 views by April and you guys helped me reach that a whole month early!

So thank you to each and every one of you! Cheers to more poetry, music & a new element called  Life's Big Questions

Blogging would be a cool full time job don't you think? 

Anyways.,.

WE MADE IT! 

Me when I hit 500 views

i'm feeling myself! 

Blind Truth

Listen on a low volume
Have you ever loved something so much
So much it's a passion
You'd do anything to fulfill it
It feels like you've never worked a day in your life
Nothin compares to it
It's the thing that drives you
Makes you
And possibly the only thing that can break you

Yeah I felt like that once

You see this thing you guys call a blog
I call a home
A place where I can express
Unwind
Put pen to paper
And know it's all gone

You see that phrase
Without you
There's no me?
Nah I don't live by that
This blog would still be alive without you
I write for me not you
Remember that

I have no followers on this thing
But many a reader
Some of you scroll
Some read
Others have bookmarked
Even if you came by accident
All of you are appreciated

You chose to do that
I didn't make you
I have no idea where I'm going with this
Maybe it's a hobby
Could turn into a full time job
I honestly don't know

This thing you guys call Writers Block
I'm going through that
My mind is frazzled
Plenty of ideas
Nothing sticks

Then I remember what brought me here
In the famous words of Mary J
No more pain
But that's just it
I suffer so much pain
With no form of execution

You've helped me manage my pain
Manage my tears
Build a strong woman
A successful woman
Who will drive and push
To what she wants
Change the face of the earth

Each post eases my struggle a little
My love for music
Contradictory to the poem
Demonstrates my way of search
I find things that emit a feeling
For me not you
You then click and listen
But what happens after ain't my problem

Poetry

The thing I hated in school
But freely write on here

Meet me in person
I'm not much of a talker
Friends will tell you otherwise
More a Listener
Absorb all the info
Take in surroundings
Make my own conclusions
But never tell you

I write for me
Not you
Don't like it
Do one

Special thanks to Timi x 

My New Motto In life

It's 00:49 out here and I couldn't sleep so I decided to bless you guys with another post!

Skuki drop another track floor filler Forward Ever and I'm gonna side step Skuki a second and praise Clarence Peters! I honestly don't think this guy gets enough credit like maybe it's because I do Media studies and we are forced to learn about camera angles and stuff, but this video is done so cleanly and the bit with the shirt at the beginning was just amazing because I thought it was a woman unbuttoning her shirt to begin with, but Peters did another fantastic job! Props to Skuki too!

And remember Forward Ever Backward Never!

Domino's Pizza Hits Nigeria!

So Nigeria is slowly improving to the point where we now have Domino's Pizza! I'm mega late I know, but I didn't only make this post to celebrate Nigeria's achievement, but I just saw a video of the staff of Domino's dancing at what I guess is the opening? When I mean I can't stop laughing! Please just laugh with me

Have a wonderful night!