There's a simple transaction between you and I I give you something You say thank you After that there's two options Go our separate ways or ask Hey have you had a good day?
As a society we're inclined to do the second Probably in our anti social nature But how many of us are prepared to go the extra mile? You have the balenciaga, the versace trainers or that old addidas tracksuit at the ready Lined up for the get set but when the gun goes off for the go you look left and right
Vanessa carlton sang it in an iconic way So let's analyse a phrase a minute The bit before the drum roll We all know it And I need you And I miss you Forget the miss you a second As humans we need appreciation, attention and some sort of stimulation
So why do we find it so hard to tell a friend we love them? Find it terribly difficult to say I miss you Take it from me A little goes a long way It can stop one from doing what they planned today Tomorrow Or what they planned yesterday and is chilling in their back pocket for today
So next time don't part ways Scrolling through your phone Stop and ask Hey you had a good day?
I can't seem to stop writing Stop wishing Stop envision It's no longer what it could be rather what it is these unnecessary waves that come crashing taking anything in its stride I no longer wish Hope Or believe I just live live to be wiped away To be washed away I kinda wish I was water Just to push in and out Yet when I feel like it I can cause havoc Rid people of their homes Drown certain people Opps...I don't mean to be so negative Speaking of negative I remember people saying Surround yourself with positivity for they breed positivity too So what happens when you're the negative stigma Not that you mean too You really want to be the bright light you used to be But you can't seem to find it It's run away from you Much like on a sunny day With a loved one It's gleaming with heat Her hair cascades softly You sprint for her There's no way you're losing her Firm rough finger grip her shapely waist flinging her over your shoulder Your spirit all a hundred degrees celsius of it burns right through you Meshing with a hundred degrees celsius of hers Creating this burning fire And you look at her like Damn I'm the luckiest man in the world See? So I know what means to be happy Or somewhat Before my 100 became 50 50 to 30 and just rapidly declined since then Now it's just a fight to get it back I like viewing it like that Means I will eventually bounce back But everyone seems to beat you back down nth number of lashes of the torturous whip causing life long scars Some scars which heal others which don't So for now I'm just gonna sit on the floor drown in my tears a little more build a thick layer remove myself from it all But not run from it all Because for once I don't know what to do If I could get up I would But right now I'm signing out Yes I'm being that negative soul Can't handle it I never asked you too Turn your back on me if need be Just know I'll never pull you down with me I'm down here and don't want anyone here with me That's saying something I'll continuously push you forward Even I fall behind because I may not have faith in me But my faith definitely lives in everyone around me And that will always be my single most deadly Fatality
This would possibly be my suicide album I type that in fear though Fear of what I've become The fear of what's to come Because it was a year ago I sought that there was a problem Before then I didn't want to pay attention See the underlying problem For a person with a black soul may as well be a lost soul The only colour I see is red The red of my blood because when I see inside and it trickles it trickles like my tears my tears that are beyond the earth when you lose yourself bow down to the perception the perception of how you see me the perception of what makes you happy rather than what fills me it is beyond me I'm spinning in a lifeless circle I stretch my arms out wide Open myself to you Give you all Give in to the twitches of my thigh the flex of muscle don't hold it gently in fact pull it violently pull it as if to snap it it's broken yeah? what happens when it's broken? honestly you have two options fix it or leave it although once it's been broken you can no longer fix it but a part of you never wants to leave it because you feel somewhat responsible for it I feel like a black ballerina at night it's a constant vision spinning in a nasty circle hands on my head in the nightly forest the grass is the greenest of green but I'm holding back a curdling scream A scream so loud A scream of life Oh for fuck sake Don't fucking tell me it will be alright You have no idea what I dream at night The battle I have with life Yet I have to pretend it's alright The chemical reaction of anger is building inside I can't let it out There's no shoulder to cry on my fingers are tingling There's no end to this not today, tomorrow, nothing can really make it right take time to soak this all in Not enough words can explain this Yet my heart won't stop My fingers won't stop There's just so much to release by the way did I tell you I want to scream tonight this isn't me even trying to be deep for a couple retweets This is my daily occurrence with life my muscles just feel so tight there's no room to stretch tonight I think I said that before but hear me out tonight I spill this all out to you tonight because although there's no real release in typing but I zip my lips together because when this released then I know it's a part of the black that can be left So it's gone from Good Morning Beautiful To no longer knowing what it feels to be beautiful what it feels to be womanly So if you got to this point I applause you Oh how I want to punch the fucking wall I do apologise There is just so much anger inside Why doesn't someone understand the pain that can bleed in one human the underlying passion that could grow within my oh my I release the most sarcastic laugh many a time I imagine throwing a glass at a wall I just have pent up anger and I want it out sweat is beading on my skin I'm finally being set free Skrrrrrrrrrr My head tangles with the glass screen whip lash grips my skin might as well break my neck then At least I know what pain feels like And in somewhat writing all this A halo of air has formed above me I feel the breeze settling over me Till another night where anger presents itself within Hopefully I make it to you before it's too late Hopefully you become my friend instead of causing me a fright for now I bid you a sickly goodnight
Hi guys! In the spirit of poetry month I decided release part 2 of White Sheets for you all! I recommend you read it a few times as well as reading White Sheets again to get a better idea of where I was going with the poem.
I was never taught to feel I kid you not it's not like I forgot but nothing felt real. But funny enough after this is recited to you it will be forgot and the great thing is I enjoy speaking to you because it creates a vanishing feeling and all is gone a hole is pierced through my heart and all comes seeping through but yet nothing feels real yet I dare you to say it's not real you're looking at me like I'm crazy because none of this makes sense to you
But isn't that the trick of life? What makes sense to me may not make sense to you but we still come to the common conclusion that the sky is blue or do we?
Drake has said many things from yolo to worst behaviour but the one thing that catches me is the you ain't really fuck with me way back then, how bout now? Excuse the profanity but it's time to decipher. the meaning of the phrase is clear yet you don't seem to understand you seem to be able to sit there and make a passing judgement so like every poem I've written washed away and forgotten know you can be chopped away and forgotten just as fast.
The power of the tongue is strong and as every positive word is split out of my mouth know I claim every inch of it and the same way you don't seem to understand why my heart is smiling at you know I've been done dirty real dirty but I still enjoy speaking to you because you have no eyes no ears so physically can't make any judgment your sole judgement is me I am my own biggest critic so once I've got past that hurdle not much can really stop me
Except that fact I seem to hate my own poetry because I'm always trying to sound salty or descriptive and use metaphor that aren't really me. My hardship and brazen behaviour is what holds me and it would be a lie to say I haven't captured your attention because after every poem my mind is screaming let this be a lesson
So I enjoy speaking to you not because I love talking believe me I do but because I finally understand Drake's statement but I'm gonna twist a little bit. You didn't really think of this before I spoke to you so I appreciate how minds are reeling in confusion but how do you feel now I've spoken are you gonna run with with me and leave a legacy in your wake or be the few that don't soak my words and get consumed by the world and everything it gives but more or less feels like a take
Because you wouldn't believe if I said I'm talking about a piece of paper. It has no eyes no ears no room for judgment but it gives me everything sometimes more than I can take
Hey guys! Sooo on Wednesday (25th March) I performed one of my poems live for the first time! Can you believe it? It was for an event called Voice of Praise that was happening at uni. The interesting thing is that I wasn't originally meant to perform at the event, in fact I didn't even know it was happening. My friend called me a week or so prior to the event and asked if I would do some poetry for the event. Me thinking it was a thing where they wanted to see my poem and I wouldn't have to do anything was like yeahh no problem. Then she went on to say that I would have to perform it and I won't lie, I immediately started to feel sick. So many thoughts ran through my head the major one being I'm gonna have to perform...like in front of people type of performance. I instantly started calling everyone panicking!
I eventually calmed down and went on to decide what poem I wanted to perform. I settled on I'm Just Sayin. A number of reasons made me choose it to be fair. It's a very emotional poem that was written at 3am when I was feeling very down and frustrated with life. Also the poem was short and quite straightforward to remember which was a bonus! Below are clips from my performance (I know their short!) hopefully I should have a full video soon!
Oh yeah before I forget! one of my goals this year was to perform my poetry! So big tick!! On to bigger and better performances!
You see many a time I get told I can't do many things that because of the obvious thing I shouldn't really do many things you shouldn't explore that thing because it could be dangerous or don't try that you have to think of the consequences but maybe just once I refuse to think because I spend so much time in thought that I practically live in it, so much time in thought that it feels as though I'm in a cage in my own self it's suffocating me
It angers me so much that you feel you can dictate to me what I can do might I remind you this is my life you are most definitely not wearing the shoes. I have a physical difficientcy I never disputed that not once did I argue on that but life is all about risks, risks I am willing to take
I'm just saying!
For goodness sake!
I've lived this for many years plenty more to come this ain't really a game anymore there's really nowhere else for me to run
Can I even run? let alone walk to even go anywhere? if I've dealt with this like it's a single fragment of hair that fell out of place, slight exaggeration, agreed but sometimes I have to force myself to feel like I don't care because if I don't it's what if this goes wrong what if that happens!
Its got to a dangerous point really a point so bad I felt the need to ask what does it feel like to walk. The question seems simple enough but I felt bad for making them feel bad when really and truly they should feel bad for taking something so small for granted because you don't really understand the severity of the question till you are asked so I'm asking you
What does it feel like to walk? To put one foot before another to feel the pavement beneath the soles of your shoes to have full power over the balance of your body to look in the mirror and see your full height to even know your height
What does it feel like to be you? I get that question a lot too it's not that much of a shock. Smart mouth me says it's fab to be me I wouldn't change it for the world but the me that's buried under this lack of self confidence the me of confusion the me of desperation the me of frustration doesn't really know because at times I feel like this third entity who could burst out as a ray of sunshine then I notice it's a part of me but is it me?
I ask this because I envision my first date, standing, my wedding day standing, meeting my in laws, standing. Standing seems like the next best thing, but given being glued to a chair the whole time who wouldn't think that
So I am no longer saying in fact I'm now telling you I may make it seem like a bed of roses the same way I regard walking when I see you, but know I got this. I got this. not you so even though I'm technically wheeling through it trust that I don't know what I'm doing but I'm having fun investigating the stunts I can pull these shoes are far too big for you God put me here and all I want you to do is watch me pull through
Rightttt, It's been a minute since I wrote a poem so decided to drop one today. I decided to write this because I'm writing a book called Journey To Self Acceptance and thought it would be cool to start the book with something I enjoy...a poem!
So yeah enjoyyy
Is it bad to be
insane?To
be cray?
Not have control of
your own mind
It has so much power
it’s almost overpowering
Random tears spill not
because its suppose to but because it does
Sometimes you want to
forget everything
Feel nothing
The smallest thing
triggers it off. Muscles tighten
This is a bit of poetry freestyle. By this what I mean is that I take a random song, listen to it and while I listen I just spill on the page. The song picked today is Pump it by Black Eyed Peas. I gave my Spotify playlist a bit of shuffle and this came up so..Yeah Let's go!
let's be honest here, I'm nervous
not exactly free
in a matter of days all is me
I dunno what to make of it
just a bunch of letters
Yet they ave that much power
your heart races
just because of a white sheet
people either screaming
others hiding
food doesn't seem that important
everything is constricted
the walls are closing
you open the brown envelope
everything builds up
you draw the sheet...
Your mind is frazzled nothing really makes sense
mostly because you haven't really given much time to think
That's results day for ya!
Okay that was an experience! Much harder than I imagined it to be probably because I tried to not stop typing and mostly feel not think!
Wanna give it a go?
Here's the rules:
Pick a song at random
State the song in the intro
You can't pre-plan the poem! Has to be written in the moment!
You have the same time to write the poem as the song lasts
As soon as the song stops, you stop!
Don't stop writing/Typing
Have fun!
Email all poems to blessxo8@gmail.com
If you have links tweet me @blessing_xxx with #ATAPoetryFreestyle
Poems can be in the form of videos or any form you wish! Just stick to the rules
So last Tuesday (22nd July) was one of the best days of my life! Why? Well, the year long preparation for WhatIsBeautyfinally came to light and to say I was overwhelmed is an understatement! The event took place at Gillette Square with an array of activities taking place, including soft play for the young one, Dollis Dolls Nail bar, art therapy and a wonderful session by The School of Hip Hop teaching us how to write our own rap then proceeding to perform it. The talent was immense in that aspect I can't lie!
The whole point of the exhibition was to create awareness of mental health and how the government needs to do more to support people with mental health. In effort to show this we had a group of young creatives including myself express what beauty meant to them through some form of creative medium. Believe it or not, one of my poems, "I Hate Music" was chosen to be exhibited (now you understand why I was so excited!).
To begin with we weren't sure how to express the poem as we thought just having it on a piece of paper hung on a wall wouldn't really express the true meaning and feeling behind the poem.
We decided on doing a video and well... See for yourself
I've never been to a party. That didn't come out right...I have been to a party just never one filled with friends, music, drinks and a drunken mistake or two that somehow make great memories. I don't really have anyone to blame except myself really. I have this thing called social anxiety. I automatically think people don't wanna be around me therefore shutting me out from the rest. It could be phase although if it is, it's damn well goin on for a long time and there doesn't seemed to be no end. I wouldn't exactly say I'm spiraling, but I'm deffo going through somethin. I weird like being alone...even when i have perfectly good people who want to be around I somehow only enjoy myself. First signs of madness?Probably..not exactly lookin for treatment though. I have my outlets, imagination being one dreams the other. My dream? There's many wanna hear a few? Walk down the aisle. Sound small? Let me rephrase "Walk down the aisle" if you know you know. Master the Flavour hip roll. Need i say more! Become the first black disabled business woman that owns a conglomerate. Just watch this space it will happen. Dance the night away. And marry someone who can do the Flavour hip roll or just wind his wind his hips beautifully
Why am i telling you this? I may suffer from social awkwardness, but really i just gotta embrace it. In time you'll find your skin like I"m doing so just don't do a Miley Cyrus mmmk? No condition is permanent. There will be a growing light that's just waiting for you! Sometimes you just gotta make your own light in times of darkness
Hey guys! So I didn't blog last week which on the contrary I actually spent the whole week blogging on tumblr for my media coursework, but it's done now so I'm back! Where do I start? Well this weeks been kinda interesting so to speak. I could a volunteering job teaching young people poetry for 5weeks and so I'm proud in that respect, but the problem is I wouldn't really know the first thing about teaching poetry as it comes from the heart for me, but I live a sort of wing it life so I'm sure I'll find a way to do it...
What will I amount to? It worries me everyone seems to have an idea of what they wanna do and even if you don't you could be the clueless thing on earth, but you won't be as clueless as me. I enjoy so many things music, performing, poetry, sport, helping others..being that support system that not many people get a chance to have. I guess you could say that the one thing they all have in common is performing am I made to perform I dunno am I meant to change the face of the earth I dunno I just dunno what I'm meant to amount to. All those things set me free it's in those moments I can be free and know everything will be okay sure things will be a struggle but it makes the journey lighter, easier in some way. I'm not alone in this I'm sure, but I don't think I can hold it down anymore, living in this so called black hole ain't me, but I don't wanna amount to that one time thing. That thing that's like she's the sister of so and so. the wife of (place name here) I want to amount to so much more than that! I know I can, I will it's a must, but amounting to what is a mystery?
I've not worked hard enough I don't believe I have, I dream about what could be, what should be then I remember that logically that ain't possible. Let me rephrase, what I imagine is possible then the reality of it is something different. I was made for the stage, I've secretly always known that, countless medals sprinting, poetry even just helping people I was made to be listened to for people to see and relate to, but then why does nothing in life reach a level of satisfaction. Why still do I hide away even though when I do these things I somehow touch people's hearts or at least gain some reaction (not bragging) so I guess I've found my market, but not the specification, but such is life gotta keep moving, maybe one day my life won't be such a movie and I'll know what i'm doing....
So the title says it all. This week (even though it's only Wednesday) has been a bit of a crazy period filled with tears and the occasional moments of laughter, but I'll just let the poem do the talking. Just felt like doing a little intro for you guys
Can anybody hear me?
Am I going insane
It seems like the one time I try and be happy the devil steps in the way
You say don't let the devil get in the way
But it's easier said than done I cry myself to sleep most nights
Not necessarily because I pray for something different
Sometimes just to let everything out
You claim you understand, but really all you can do is try
Your not in my position so I don't expect you to understand
Things will get better they say
So why am I pulling my hair
Frustrated, Annoyed
I understand not to blame myself
I can't don't you understand
I never blame myself
It's a fact of life I gotta continue
I can't really say much
Without coming across ungrateful
Rushin to you for support
And you turn me away
Sayin everythin will be okay
Don't feed me what I want to hear
What I already know
Sometimes just shut the fuck up and listen
Don't say anything, give me advice, give me harsh reality
Sometimes all I want is your ears
Open your ears close your mouth
Close your eyes imagine me saying this to you
All you're feeding me is bullshit
God dey for sky
I'm here for you
Stop pitying yourself
Making yourself feel bad
How does it sound to you
Annoying?
Many do it without realising
Do the opposite sometimes
Although I may get angry
Ignore what I'm saying Make an irrelevant point
Inappropriate comment
Anything
Something
Just to make it stop
Make it stop
Take it away
I wanna feel you
Touch you
Caress you
But you're nowhere near
You have so much power you don't even realise it
Or utilize it.
You make me happy and can still drive me insane
Dig the biggest hole in my heart
Stab me so softly
Make me feel all type a ways
The day will come
One day I hope
When all the above comes true and I get to feel you
Till then messages will do
Silent tears will continue
Forced laughter
Genuine cackles
Hope for major
Minor Success
Maybe get published
Such is life
I don't like to say it
But it is what it is
Things won't get better
There is no light at the end of the tunnel
The devil does want me
I'm a dysfunctional angel
Without hope
Without direction
But I thank him for my ability of expression
I can't say I wanna fight no more
Honestly I don't
Take the battle for me I'm tired
They bring some weird light
I become so comfortable
I can see the light
I'm drawing towards
It
My eyes are closin
Breathing slowing
Yet I don't feel I'm dying
Inhale...Exhale
Baby Wait
Hold on
But I'm tired of holding
You can't leave me
Tears flow wetting, pealing my pale face
Open your eyes woman
Screaming, shouting, Wailing
But I need to go
No you stay
He cradles you
It's not your time baby
Go back
They need you
But-
Don't question me
They. Need. You
They won't say it out loud
But they do
He needs you
Just as much as you need him
Don't turn back now
Put that blade down
Let the rope go
Sometimes say yes instead of no
Don't question life
Needless to say it has unanswered questions
Do your bit
think of it like a skit
It's really, really short
Shorter than you imagine
So smile and conquer the world
Things might not get better
But believe me
Put a bullet to your head
Slicing yourself
Popping pills
Running away
Hanging yourself
Some form of life destruction
I've more than likely felt it
Or even wanted to do it
Harming another?
Common thing for me
To punch, kick or slap them
Scream? Bitch? Strangle?
I felt that way too
But there are people or things you love isn't there?
You say no, but there is!
Your mum, best friend, wife, girlfriend
Toy, Diary, music artist even down to a scene in a film
That is the thing that needs you!
Wants to satisfy you
Make you feel better
So stay put
It's crying out for you
Hold on to it
To me
This Post
Something
I'm not preaching to you
Some of you will think
Fuck it she doesn't get it I still wanna go
Go. If it's your time then what can I say
But to someone else on the brink
Not quite there
I hope this helps you
Think of that buzz you get
Something that makes you smile
because that's what makes it all worth while
And when you spread your word
Like I am to you
You can shout me out
And say that girl's poem
Blessing's poem Pointed me in the right direction
I'd rather you didn't do that though
The moment will be about you not me
I take zero credit your all that matters
Keep your head up
Your shine will come
Regardless
So smile
It's all a matter of time
Before it becomes worth while
Listen on a low volume
Have you ever loved something so much
So much it's a passion
You'd do anything to fulfill it
It feels like you've never worked a day in your life
Nothin compares to it
It's the thing that drives you
Makes you
And possibly the only thing that can break you
Yeah I felt like that once
You see this thing you guys call a blog
I call a home
A place where I can express
Unwind
Put pen to paper
And know it's all gone
You see that phrase
Without you
There's no me?
Nah I don't live by that
This blog would still be alive without you
I write for me not you
Remember that
I have no followers on this thing
But many a reader
Some of you scroll
Some read
Others have bookmarked
Even if you came by accident
All of you are appreciated
You chose to do that
I didn't make you
I have no idea where I'm going with this
Maybe it's a hobby
Could turn into a full time job
I honestly don't know
This thing you guys call Writers Block
I'm going through that
My mind is frazzled
Plenty of ideas
Nothing sticks
Then I remember what brought me here
In the famous words of Mary J
No more pain
But that's just it
I suffer so much pain
With no form of execution
You've helped me manage my pain
Manage my tears
Build a strong woman
A successful woman
Who will drive and push
To what she wants
Change the face of the earth
Each post eases my struggle a little
My love for music
Contradictory to the poem
Demonstrates my way of search
I find things that emit a feeling
For me not you
You then click and listen
But what happens after ain't my problem
Poetry
The thing I hated in school
But freely write on here
Meet me in person
I'm not much of a talker
Friends will tell you otherwise
More a Listener
Absorb all the info
Take in surroundings
Make my own conclusions
But never tell you
Hello! I just realized I don't really introduce my poems I just slap them on here! Well this one I've been sitting on for a little while and I decided to have a little fun with my poetry this time round, while still highlighting some issues
Listen to this while reading it sets the tone nicely. Enjoy!
That thing that happens between two people
It begins with a hey babe you alright
Yeah, I'm good
Can can have your number
She giggles
Nah seriously can man have your number
She smiles
Yeah sure
Soon your textin back and forth
Just casual textin
Nothin serious
Not just yet
He calls you one day
Hey wanna link up?
Deep inside this girl is like
I dunno
But,
She says yes anyway
My guy, Lets say Daniel for now
Is like yeah gonna secure that quick ting!
So they get dressed,
She let say, Sara is fixing her weave
Straightening it
Because basically see wanna look fly
Anyway skip the waffle
They link up
He is a true gentleman to her
Back to the crib
Thing heat up quickly
So stay with me
The door shuts
You know what happen next
Clothes are dispersed
She arches her back
Screams in pleasure
Legs wrapped round this guys waist claws digging in too
My man is singing hallelujah I got my fix
Gets dressed and things end real quick
The girl is off her sexual high
Daniel kicks her out with no reason why
Just quick, beat, dress and bounce
So who's got it wrong in the scenario?
What if I told that was her first time?
Make things any different?
Nope
Okay what is it with our generation
We spend so much time
Too much time
Blaming one other
when the real question is
What is sex?
Just that thing that happens with A and B
Your XX or XY chromosomes
Your Gender
Which is it because I'm at a loss
S + E + X = x
because even though when we add those letters together and get sex
What does sex even mean?
Dictionary
It says it's the intercourse between a man and a woman
But really?
Is that enough
I just don't know
Has it ever occurred to you
We the youth of Britain say
Oh I'm gonna beat that chick
Like what is that?
Beat is so
Violent
Your gonna hit something
Course an effect
In reality you are making an effect
Many effects
But is the act that violent as such
Just take a minute
Is it really a 'beat'
But then we're young
Sex is meant to be that special thing
which is now just turned into many things
How many ways do we use sex?
That meal was the sex
Leonardo Dicaprio is the sex
So really
What is sex?
Has it got to the point where we associate sex with food
I raise my hand
I'm a user of the term
But it slips off my tongue
Much how the kids of today are so quick to slip off their underwear?
Explain this
If a girl has sex with many men she's a hoe
But a man does the same with plenty girls
It's a bit like cool story bro
Or you praise him?
Hail him even
Like is that fair
A woman carries a baby for nine months
Is that why it's so nasty if she opens her legs for more than a few
But you didn't mind slipping it in either
So nobody is the real winner
It's the battle of the sexes
The bible says
Sex is to happen in marriage
Not before
So what happens to that person
Who did as raised
Waited
The marriage came and went
And soon sex was the main event
I don't mean in pleasure
It is no longer fun
Just give me when I want
Tell me who's to blame then
Was she naive
I think not
Do we blame religion?
Possibly
She waited and is now a machine for following a rule
Punches, slaps or worse follow
if she doesn't do
Tell me who is there to share her sorrow
To death do us part my foot
I would leave as quick as I could
It's easier said than done
But sometimes you have to run
So should we have so much faith in the thing we call religion
Or show we be wary
Some will say it will get better
God has a plan
Don't give me that crap
We're you there when she was getting slapped?
No?
Keep quite then
Lets be fair
There's some good boys out there
Warn their friends
Omo this girl is ashewo
But some of you are just ignorant and don't wanna listen
That or your group has gassed you
Because reality is it takes two to play this game
Some wait forever to have a kid
So this beat learn to cherish it
It is not a right consider it more a gift
a gift that can be returned
One day a doctor said to me
Blessing, you won't be able walk, talk, eat or see
He might as well have said there'd be nothing left of me
Oh how wrong was he
I'm here talking to you
Your listening to me
I've defied all odds
There is nothing left stopping me
I'm not here to feed you a sob story
Just telling you the harsh reality
I've been bulled, I've cried believe me
But also believe me when I say there's nothing I haven't done
I've met royals
pulled a trigger
rifle shooting before you all shiver
So you can stand there and defy me
You can tell me my poetry is just a sob story
But at the end of the day you is you I is me
A wise man once told me
"Teachers are taught to teach, but not taught to teach us how to learn"
So you can be the doctor
Feed me your prejudice
Having had about five operations and counting
Scars so deep it's disgusting
I'm talking physical scars
Hamstrings, feet even my eye
I dare you to tell me all this a lie
But enough of the sad I'm here and now
Here to tell you to fight and be proud
Proud of who you are
Everything you've overcome
Might not be as deep as mine
maybe even deeper
Just remember your a winner
The apple never falls far from the tree
Take one apple
Slice it
Inside is you and me
Continue slicing and you get the seed
The seed in which we plant to create other apple tree
There was once this saying going round
on Facebook is where I saw it
You know that thing you spend hours clicking away at
But then turn round tomorrow and say it's shit yet you still click away on it
Anyway this quote
Can't remember it exactly
It went along the lines of
"Boys only pick the apples at the bottom of the tree
these bottom apples being 'hoes"
But don't take enough time to climb to the top of the tree and get the good apples"
So I ask you
Why you selling yourself so short
Remember that young man
"Teachers are taught to teach, but not taught to learn"
That teacher ain't always a teacher
That teacher is also social media
Programming you
Fixating you
Adapting you to it's formation
To think you have to be this skinny
Or in the case of men if you ain't got a beard
Well you probably ain't hit puberty
I'm telling you listen to me
It's just me and you
No one else in this room
Anything is possible
Anything
Listen I'm standing here when I man said I won't be
So listen to me
Try tell me I'm not pretty
I won't even flinch
Because that is them
This is us
And together their ain't no fullstop
I know this wouldn't have touched many
But if there's one
I hope one day when your feeling down
you remember this poem called Apples
You remember these words
And rise again
Saying
Oh Lord set me free
Because some times
The best apples are at the bottom of the tree
When you look at me what do you see?
No really, what do you see?
We spend so much time saying what is not
Instead of what really is
Arthur Seaton
Arthur Seaton
Such a great man he is
The anti hero
The one we should hate, but we learn to love
The British New Wave
So I ask...can you love me?
Love me for what I am
But love me also for what I am not
Many of you sit and ask
Who is she? What can she do?
Oh what little you know of me
What I have been through
On the face of things I am this thing
This thing that is just a fly on the wall
Beauty and the Beast
The beauty on my outside never really shines
Mostly because I'm not that pretty
Not your usual girly girl
Or tomboy
Just me
Anon
The government labels me
Labels me with such a tag called "Disability"
Not many of you want to approach me
The reason for that is you can't fulfill me
Don't know what to say
Don't know what to do
Let me gist you
Not saying I have a heart of Gold
Not even close
I might as well have a heart of coal
With the bad things that consume me
But
I have fought through a lot
Probably not enough
To know what I want
But maybe not what I need
Family, Friends
Timi, Deborah, Ireti, Lammy
Many more
But those especially
One being my rock
The other my princess
The ride or die
And well the last knows already what he is
Where would I be without these lot?
They remind me everyday
To be the woman I am today
A fighter,
To persevere
To not always live in the dark
But, remember there is light
To take risks
Sometimes some very big risks
To cry when there is a need to cry
Open up and ask sometimes why
But do you know the best advice they give me?
Everything is a lie
Yes you are disabled
Yes things might be harder
Yes you might wanna give up
But remember
Please remember
Please, Please, Please
Remember
Whatever they say you are is what you are not
