I can't seem to stop writing
Stop wishing
Stop envision
It's no longer what it could be
rather what it is
these unnecessary waves that come crashing
taking anything in its stride
I no longer wish
Hope
Or believe
I just live
live to be wiped away
To be washed away
I kinda wish I was water
Just to push in and out
Yet when I feel like it
I can cause havoc
Rid people of their homes
Drown certain people
Opps...I don't mean to be so negative
Speaking of negative
I remember people saying
Surround yourself with positivity
for they breed positivity too
So what happens when you're the negative stigma
Not that you mean too
You really want to be the bright light you used to be
But you can't seem to find it
It's run away from you
Much like on a sunny day
With a loved one
It's gleaming with heat
Her hair cascades softly
You sprint for her
There's no way you're losing her
Firm rough finger
grip her shapely waist
flinging her over your shoulder
Your spirit
all a hundred degrees celsius of it burns right through you
Meshing with a hundred degrees celsius of hers
Creating this burning fire
And you look at her like
Damn I'm the luckiest man in the world
See? So I know what means to be happy
Or somewhat
Before my 100 became 50
50 to 30
and just rapidly declined since then
Now it's just a fight to get it back
I like viewing it like that
Means I will eventually bounce back
But everyone seems to beat you back down
nth number of lashes of the torturous whip
causing life long scars
Some scars which heal
others which don't
So for now I'm just gonna sit on the floor
drown in my tears a little more
build a thick layer
remove myself from it all
But not run from it all
Because for once
I don't know what to do
If I could get up I would
But right now I'm signing out
Yes I'm being that negative soul
Can't handle it
I never asked you too
Turn your back on me if need be
Just know I'll never pull you down with me
I'm down here and don't want anyone here with me
That's saying something
I'll continuously push you forward
Even I fall behind
because I may not have faith in me
But my faith definitely lives in everyone around me
And that will always be my single most deadly
Fatality
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