Wednesday, 9 April 2014

Unknown

Hey guys! So I didn't blog last week which on the contrary I actually spent the whole week blogging on tumblr for my media coursework, but it's done now so I'm back! Where do I start? Well this weeks been kinda interesting so to speak. I could a volunteering job teaching young people poetry for 5weeks and so I'm proud in that respect, but the problem is I wouldn't really know the first thing about teaching poetry as it comes from the heart for me, but I live a sort of wing it life so I'm sure I'll find a way to do it...

What will I amount to? It worries me everyone seems to have an idea of what they wanna do and even if you don't you could be the clueless thing on earth, but you won't be as clueless as me. I enjoy so many things music, performing, poetry, sport, helping others..being that support system that not many people get a chance to have. I guess you could say that the one thing they all have in common is performing am I made to perform I dunno am I meant to change the face of the earth I dunno I just dunno what I'm meant to amount to. All those things set me free it's in those moments I can be free and know everything will be okay sure things will be a struggle but it makes the journey lighter, easier in some way. I'm not alone in this I'm sure, but I don't think I can hold it down anymore, living in this so called black hole ain't me, but I don't wanna amount to that one time thing. That thing that's like she's the sister of so and so. the wife of (place name here) I want to amount to so much more than that! I know I can, I will it's a must, but amounting to what is a mystery?

I've not worked hard enough I don't believe I have, I dream about what could be, what should be then I remember that logically that ain't possible. Let me rephrase, what I imagine is possible then the reality of it is something different. I was made for the stage, I've secretly always known that, countless medals sprinting, poetry even just helping people I was made to be listened to for people to see and relate to, but then why does nothing in life reach a level of satisfaction. Why still do I hide away even though when I do these things I somehow touch people's hearts or at least gain some reaction (not bragging) so I guess I've found my market, but not the specification, but such is life gotta keep moving, maybe one day my life won't be such a movie and I'll know what i'm doing....

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