This would possibly be my suicide album
I type that in fear though
Fear of what I've become
The fear of what's to come
Because it was a year ago I sought that there was a problem
Before then I didn't want to pay attention
See the underlying problem
For a person with a black soul may as well be a lost soul
The only colour I see is red
The red of my blood
because when I see inside and it trickles
it trickles like my tears
my tears that are beyond the earth
when you lose yourself
bow down to the perception
the perception of how you see me
the perception of what makes you happy rather than what fills me
it is beyond me
I'm spinning in a lifeless circle
I stretch my arms out wide
Open myself to you
Give you all
Give in to the twitches of my thigh
the flex of muscle
don't hold it gently
in fact pull it violently
pull it as if to snap it
it's broken yeah?
what happens when it's broken?
honestly you have two options
fix it or leave it
although once it's been broken you can no longer fix it
but a part of you never wants to leave it because
you feel somewhat responsible for it
I feel like a black ballerina at night
it's a constant vision
spinning in a nasty circle
hands on my
head in the nightly forest
the grass is the greenest of green
but I'm holding back a curdling scream
A scream so loud
A scream of life
Oh for fuck sake
Don't fucking tell me it will be alright
You have no idea what I dream at night
The battle I have with life
Yet I have to pretend it's alright
The chemical reaction of anger is building inside
I can't let it out
There's no shoulder to cry on
my fingers are tingling
There's no end to this
not today, tomorrow, nothing can really make it right
take time to soak this all in
Not enough words can explain this
Yet my heart won't stop
My fingers won't stop
There's just so much to release
by the way did I tell you I want to scream tonight
this isn't me even trying to be deep for a couple retweets
This is my daily occurrence with life
my muscles just feel so tight
there's no room to stretch tonight
I think I said that before
but hear me out tonight
I spill this all out to you tonight because although there's no real release in typing
but I zip my lips together because when this released then I know it's a part of the black that can be left
So it's gone from Good Morning Beautiful
To no longer knowing what it feels to be beautiful
what it feels to be womanly
So if you got to this point I applause you
Oh how I want to punch the fucking wall
I do apologise
There is just so much anger inside
Why doesn't someone understand
the pain that can bleed in one human
the underlying passion that could grow within
my oh my
I release the most sarcastic laugh
many a time I imagine throwing a glass at a wall
I just have pent up anger and I want it out
sweat is beading on my skin
I'm finally being set free
Skrrrrrrrrrr
My head tangles with the glass screen
whip lash grips my skin
might as well break my neck then
At least I know what pain feels like
And in somewhat writing all this
A halo of air has formed above me
I feel the breeze settling over me
Till another night where anger presents itself within
Hopefully I make it to you before it's too late
Hopefully you become my friend instead of causing me a fright
for now I bid you a sickly goodnight
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