Wednesday, 29 January 2014

What do you know?

You claim to be my voice
Claim that I'll be heard
Claim to make my life easier
Claim to care
Claim to want the best for us
But really these claims are lies
You know nothing
Want nothing more than to want people to surrender to your name
Abide by your rules
You know nothing

Monday morning arrives
I'm having to walk in the rain
Head down
Dreams up in the sky
If I could have one wish
You know what it would be?
To not have to live by you
This demon inside of me
You pin me down
Break me down
But what do you know?
You know nothing
The girl who wakes up and relays the hatred she has for herself
Wishing, just wishing to have what others don't see the value in
The emptiness
The tears to the point of numbness

You don't understand
My heart bleeds
Like the streets I live in
Daily, hourly, minutes go by
people die
Shots, stabs, you name it
We've seen it
Just the side you never see

The doctor said
He said
"Just a physical deficiency"
She'll be fine
Oh what a bloody foolish lie
Do I look fine?
Better still does this sound fine to you?
I've begged, pleaded, wished
The angel of death should take me
But all seem to say
"At least your alive"
But what does it mean to be alive
When one just wishes for her death

I can't fulfill my first dream
So I have to settle for my second
But, why must I settle
Settle for worst than second best
feeling like tarnished goods
No one warned me it would be like this
they said it was just physical
They never said physical, mental and emotional
They lied
They say we're normal when there's no such thing
Again you claim I'm part of society
When, when, when When
I'm really the outcast
The one you claim to understand
But yet I still have to push through each day
This turmoil
The one none of you get
The one you never get to feel
When you pick up the phone and instead of booking that thing you wanted
The number one thought is "Is there access?"

You get the distress
Of course you won't
Most of you will probably respond with a few tears
An 'aww' or 'Omg'
Cover your mouths to hold in your foolish tears
Claimed it touched your heart
When in reality
Come tomorrow
You'll see me
Shun me to the left
And not understand
So keep your tears
Your statements of shock
Because it's all useless
Pointless
Just get on with your lives
Let me continue to cry
In hope
You never have to go through what I do

Something you'll truly never know


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